How many times does one get the experience of understanding exactly why an unrequited love didn’t work out? Not often I find. But today I had a serrendipitous experience! I was feeling like I never seem to get the guy that I want, and feeling sorry for myself when I came home and got my high school alumnae magazine. In the class notes section was my very first big crush! I was 13, and it was 8th grade. I tracked his every move through the hallways. I kept note of exactly what he was wearing, and how his hair looked each day, the cut, the color, the gel, it was the 80’s after all! We flirted in the hallways and at lunch. And after all of this, I thought I had a shot.

Until he turned up with my nemesis, a tall dark haired, very tan, volleyball player who was a straight B+ student. After that he didn’t know that I existed. I am short and blond and was in no way athletic in the organized sport arena. I wanted to scream at him “Don’t you know I’m smarter than she is!!!” Of course, the problem with guys is that this line NEVER works. Nor does it ever cross their mind that it should matter that you’re smarter than she is!

But suffice to say, as I went to a small private school where the pickings were slim I was quite distraught. My Duran Duran, Days of Our Lives watching 80’s life as I knew it was over. How could I go on living? What would become of me?

However, as time and apparently Venus retrogrades teach us, it’s all for a reason! What is that guy like now over 20 years later? Well, he’s still out West, having doubled or maybe even tripled his mass becoming more round if not more well rounded. He enjoys drag racing motorcyles in the middle of nowhere. He has a beard to rival ANY backwoods guy you might ever meet and clothing to match! And according to his myspace profile (which he listed in the notes) he wants “to meet a stable, employed girl to ride my chopper with me.”

Um, check please! Praise the Lord he never asked me out! Praise the lord I don’t have to look back and say “Ya, there’s my ex!” You choose different people when you’re younger. I have colorful enough exes without adding that one to the list. I’m sure he’s a great guy. But clearly he’s not my type. And even though he went from cute english prepster to burly dragster in 20 years, I’m sure he’s a great guy. Anyone who’s out West and wants his myspace page, all you have to do is ask! Peace and Love Man! Peace and Love!